When did you become a “second choice” girl?

Tonight, after dinner, my mom and I sat down to chat about “how to’s” of getting the guy. I mean, seriously, we have all manipulated ourselves to get his attention. We post pictures so he can see it, like it, and follow up with the “hey beautiful” text. We tweet catchy things hoping to get that heart. We even Facebook it up to catch up on his favorite types of music, movies, and witty jokes (inevitably found in his bio, of course). My mom talked about the benefits of playing “hard to get” and how it earns you a degree of self-respect in his little black book. But, Mom, in all seriousness,

What guy worth getting makes you feel like you need to play hard to get?

He should be jumping out of his skin to get you. You’re not a back up plan and you’re not his second choice or lonely-night text. You don’t have to manipulate yourself to look better to him, because the right guy will find you perfect in all of your flaws. You don’t have to play a mind game with Mr. Right because, to him, the thought of someone else getting the chance to have you is just unacceptable. He his proud to call you his- even with your no-filter snapchats. He’ll let you know that you’re not just an option with his actions, not his words.

You weren’t created to take the back seat or to feel like any less than you are. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” You were created for glory, honor, and kinship, and if he can’t see that, he is a fool. If he can’t honor and love you the way you were made to be honored and loved, he doesn’t deserve you.

If he doesn’t pursue you with the same fervor that The Lord has pursued you, don’t waste your time.

The Lord sacrificed His son, and this sucker can’t even sacrifice his pride? In Deuteronomy 7, Moses stresses

^“7 It was not because you were more numerous than any other people that the Lord set his heart on you and chose you—for you were the fewest of all peoples. ⁸ It was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath that he swore to your ancestors, that the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.”

You weren’t chosen by The Lord because you are more or less than anyone else. In fact, even if you were the lowest he would chose you. He loves you and maintains His promises. He is strong and steadfast, and will face defeat for Your salvation. In the same way, you shouldn’t have to impress a guy because you are no point of comparison. Even at your lowest, he should choose you because he loves you and isn’t afraid to pursue you. Stop making excuses for him. If you held him to the standards Jesus has shown and he is continually falling short, it is time to question the love he is showing you. Would he choose you at your lowest? Or are you one bad post from falling short of his expectations?

But it is HARD, and I mean HARD, to watch those around you parading in love, happiness, and punny-yet-adorable Instagram posts. It’s hard to feel like you’re the odd man out and that you’re going to die alone and unsatisfied with 89 cats. But no guy that is making you participate in his childish mind game will make you happy long-term. The moment he knows he has you, his mind and heart will again be on the hunt. The guy who was meant to love you will never make you feel like a “second-choice” girl. You’re his top priority and he doesn’t care who knows it. You’ll never question your worth with him because you’ll see it in the way he looks at you fresh out of bed with absolutely no make-up on. On Instagram this morning, I saw a picture of a girl, posted by her boyfriend, with the caption “Do you know what it is like to walk into a room and have everyone look at the girl on your arm?” I found myself totally jealous of her. I mean this guy stinkin’ adores her and, according to him, so does everyone else. But, the more I think about it, I want “my guy” to be proudest when I fall asleep while cramming for my exams. I want him to wake me up in the morning with a cup of coffee and think “wow, I’m lucky” while I lay in bed slobbering all over myself. You’re not “the girl on his arm,” you are the love of his life day after day. You’re a force to be reckoned with- an overflowing of intelligence, beauty, and faith. Don’t settle for being his show piece because you owe yourself more than that. Even more, you are promised more than that. A love created on lust and awesome selfies is fleeting and won’t last forever. The guy you get because you had to play “hard to get” won’t stand beside you when you’re old and grey.

You were created for more and raised for more. This is why your dad didn’t want you to date until you were 38. Consider the way your mom looked at you at your fourth grade dance recital. Think about the way your brother threatened to kill any guy that laid a finger on you. Think about the way your dad, who never cries, held back tears while dropping you off at college. Think about how, when you were most sinful, Jesus still loved you enough to lay His life down. Ask yourself,

When did you become a “second choice” girl?